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Do I really need a doula?

What is a doula anyway?

Over centuries, forever; women have been nurturing and supporting each other through the ritual of puberty to childbirth. This guidance has been from a place of experience and wisdom; preparing through every stage of their fertility and reproductive journey.


In our 21st Century life, we go to specialists to get that guidance. Why? Mostly the last two generations have lost touch, with that organic process of passing down through oral history storytelling and helping women to embrace and come to terms with their innate power.


Why is that? We know through history that men have always been fearful of women. Why is it that we name our children after their fathers last name? When we as women have been carrying that potential life force all our lives. We are the egg carries. We carry the next generation, we birth the next generation, we teach and grow the next generation. Men are sperm carries. While for the fertility of the egg we need the sperm, there bodies do not incubate, grow and birth the babies, men are not the end journey. Women are the birth givers. Women have given over their power of birth to the patriarch who stole our skills and knowledge and wisdom. Now in this 21st century there is less and less trust of the birth process and of the female body to birth there young.


How not to birth from a place of fear? It is important in our 21st century, to prepare ourselves with knowledge of our female anatomy, health, place of birth, who we want to support and guide us through the process; we need to take onboard skills, like hypno-breathing and hypno-birthing and understanding of our anatomy to and how it applies to the birth process.


That said we then need to be able to connect with our body and release the mammalian mind and allow this ancient somatic wisdom to flow.


So why don't we do that? Because we have lost that connection with self and trust of self and our bodies. We have detached from physical and emotional body.


How does having a doula by your side make a difference?

A doula is usually a very experienced person, who has birthed herself and brings that experiencial knowledge as well as understanding and passion for supporting women at this crucial time of change. She is the Crone the wise woman, the shaman of the birth world, she knows that heart felt process of birth can unfold. Holding the space so that a woman can truly be raw, vulnerable and accepted truly is a gift and a skill, that not everyone can maintain. Being guided by her wishes and able to help her stay steady when at times the labour is challenging and frightening.


But don't we have a midwife to do that? Yes, the word midwife, means "With Woman" . However, with the increasing medicalised criteria of midwifery practice and the fact that most midwives do not have experience outside of the normal hospital setting where they are working under protocol and policy, they too are hamstrung and unable to practice as they truly understand and instinctively know midwifery should be.


A doula is able to be there for the emotional and psychological needs of the woman. Not the medical needs, although, she may have many years (and some are ex midwives) experience of supporting birthing women. She is not licensed to practice as a midwife. It's a different role and requires different skill set.


My role as a doula is to be there 100% for the woman. Birth is transformative. The woman changes into being a mother and protector, we as doulas must love and protector her.


I have had many women come up to me, whilst out shopping; who remembered me being their doula or birth educator/yoga teacher. "Having your words in my ears, whilst I was in labour, changed my life"! "I birthed my baby, even though they didn't believe in me". "I was in the middle of labour and you came from know where and I knew I could do it". "You trusted me and guided me, thank you."



What is transformative doula?

I believe that every birth transforms the mother and the people in attendance. I believe and have witnessed many births that have changed direction and the woman has found her power to speak from her heart and birth from her innate wisdom. I have witnessed women, listening to their baby and making appropriate changes for them and their babies that have blown everyone away. They have been awesome and inspirational.

I have attended a lot of VBAC births and helped women to birth vaginally after 2 VBACS on two occasions. I have witnessed a mother birth her fourth baby at home after a tragic third birth, which was such a healing process for her and her partner. I have seen some amazing transformative births which has changed my thinking and left me in deep respect for the woman and her strength and power.


Having someone there by you, quietly reassuring you and giving you the space to be is a powerful thing and I thank the women I have supported over 2 decades for allowing me to be present for them on this journey.


If you need to transform your birth, mindset pattern and birth from a place of transformation. Transformation doula is for you.


The services I offer can come into play as early as working towards conception, yoga, massage and counselling in pregnancy, supporting though labour and birth, guiding and supporting breastfeeding and in the postnatal period. continuity of care through post birth massages, Craniosacral therapy and aroma touch. Using skills and techniques of visualisation and rewind technique to undo and resolve trauma from birth and beyond into a continuity of yoga practice.


"I have clients who are still coming to my yoga session 21 years after giving birth". "We have become friends over the years"

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Tel 07976903003

Arlene Dunkley-Wood Birth Doula

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